You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
