He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want her autograph on my taint
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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