I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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