just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
birth control should be required to get into college
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
