Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
