if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize