Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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