I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
