Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
