i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
