He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
