i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
