wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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