I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My feet surprised me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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