Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
