these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
