I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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