I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
