All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
