3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
