Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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