The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
