What did we do last night that was yellow?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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