I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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