U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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