hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
