white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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