just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
