NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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