Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
