Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
