like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
