I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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