There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
