Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
