Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
