so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
