I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
