five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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