how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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