you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
