mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
