wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
