wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
