how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
