Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
