i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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