already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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