i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
