somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
