I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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