Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
