I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize