Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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