How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize