I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
