I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
