He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You ruined the universe
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
