McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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