If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
