Please, let me fuck your mom
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
