But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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