I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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