great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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