it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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