I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
