i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
