she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
