How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
