is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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