You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
