"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
