Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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