I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I will die if light touches me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
