My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
