I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
