I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
