Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
