yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
