all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
