Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
wow bdsm is so cute
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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