My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
