After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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